Can't You See!
by BlueJaz
Summary: During the campaign a tension arises between them that's not easy to explain. Mellivia!
1. Chapter 1

Ch. 1

This evening marks the end of their second week in the White House and it has been an extremely busy one. Olivia doesn't think she and Mellie have gone without direct contact for more than an hour since they've been back. In the past, that much contact would have been the cause of an uncomfortable tension at best but now things were different. Now they moved like a well oiled machine, feeding off of each other's energy and productivity creating a buzz that kept them going long after they should have fainted from exhaustion. Olivia was only now starting to feel the effects of working at a breakneck pace and a growl from her stomach made it clear that it was time to put the breaks on. How busy they've been really hits home when she realizes how late it is and not once has Mellie reminded her to eat. She usually manages to do that at least once, even if it's through a text sent in the middle of a meeting.

Just as she begins to contemplate this revelation her phone rings and lights up with "POTUS 45" across the screen. She smirks at the moniker and silences the ringer before continuing her journey to the Oval Office. Walking past Kimberly, the secretary, and into the oval's open door, Olivia stops and sees Mellie sitting on the sofa. There is a small platter of cheese, crackers and fruit on the table before her and of course there is a bottle of wine and two glasses beside it. Mellie is too busy frowning at her phone, fingers poised to redial her number, to notice Olivia's presence.

"You called?" Olivia asks, disturbing her focus and causing her to jerk in surprise.

Mellie turns to greet her with a bright smile, her eyes still sparkling and perfectly complimented by the blue suit jacket she's wearing . The only visible sign of exhaustion is the way her eyes take a little longer to open after blinking. The fact that Olivia notices such a small detail is a reminder of how much time they spend together and how close they've become.

"There you are!" Mellie exclaims. "If you hadn't picked up a second time I might have gone looking. Are you hungry? You have to be. I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten and figured it had to be twice as long for you so I got us something to put on our stomachs."

"Thanks Mel," Olivia doesn't miss the way her smile grows at the use of the nickname and tells herself that her reaction is in no way related to its use. It's normal to shorten the name of someone you spend so much time with, right? Plus, Mellie's been doing it almost since they've met, "but I was going to head home and get something on the way; give you a little time to yourself. You have to be exhausted."

"I'll have all day to myself tomorrow," Mellie says, not sounding as pleased about it as Olivia thought she would. She knows she misses her children but Karen is away at school and Teddy is with his father getting acclimated to his new home before being returned to his mother on Monday. "And yes, I'm beyond tired, but I'm too wired up to sleep now. Neither of us have eaten and I don't want to go to bed only to lay there wondering if you filled your belly with anything other than popcorn. I'm sure you don't want that either."

All Olivia can do is roll her eyes. She doesn't miss the smirk on Mellie's face either. The woman is many things but she isn't wrong about Olivia not wanting a repeat of 'that' night.

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 _When Olivia is awakened by the sound of her ringer it is 3:37am. She knows this because of the flashing red numbers on the hotel's standard alarm clock. When she looks at her phone and sees that it's Mellie calling she immediately sits up and answers, anticipating some sort of small crisis._

 _"Hello."_

 _"Hi, Liv! Were you asleep?" Her voice is way too chipper for this time of night and Olivia already knows that she's going to regret answering the phone._

 _"How may I help you, Senator?" Olivia asks. She can tell by the slight pause on the other end of the line that Mellie has caught on to the warning in the use of her formal title but as long as she has known Mellie she knows better than to think that will stop her._

 _"I'd noticed earlier, that you'd only gotten to take a bite of your lunch before you were called away. I don't know if you've had any time to eat since then. Have you? Are you hungry?" Mellie inquires casually as if they're preparing for a mid day meeting._

 _Olivia pulls the phone away from her ear and stares at if as if it will help her make sense of what's happening. She faintly hears Mellie's hesitant 'hello' and puts the phone back to her ear._

 _"Mellie, please tell me that this is not why you're calling? Is this why you're waking me up at four in the morning when I've only just gone to sleep; to ask if I'm hungry? You can not be serious!" She waits in silence hoping that Mellie was simply leading up to the more important issue but when there is no response she knows that this is it. "I'll take your silence as a yes. If I said yes were you planning to whip something up for me or were you just curious?"_

 _"I don't have much but I can bring you some fru-" she starts before Olivia cuts her off, all of her frustrations with Mellie during this campaign process bubbling just beneath the surface._

 _"I don't want- I ate Mellie. Quinn brought me a salad and I ate it this evening! Thanks for your concern. Now, is there anything else that I can do for you?"_

 _There is a prolonged silence then, "No. I'm sorry to have disturbed you." Mellie ends the call._

 _Her voice, void of all emotion, is like a cold drink to the face and Olivia feels her anger dissolve almost immediately upon hearing it, leaving only guilt to fill up the empty space. The voice she heard, It wasn't the voice of rage that only remained contained by years of practice; the sort of anger that left fire dancing in her eyes and heat radiating off of her in waves. Nor was it the voice of complete control; the one that chilled you to your bones as the carefully aimed words she spoke pierced your most vulnerable areas like icicles. No, this was one she rarely heard and it had never before been directed at her. It doesn't take an Ivy League educated crisis manager to understand that Mellie's feelings have been hurt and she's thrown up the wall that Olivia is just barely managing to get through._

 _Olivia falls back on the bed and throws her arm over her eyes still clutching her cell. Why did Mellie have to call her now, after such a long day and once everything has finally calm down? Why did she react so poorly? She should have bottle her anger saved it for one of those times Mellie really deserves it. It really is ironic because during those times Olivia seems to have the patience of a saint. Waking someone up in the middle of the night wasn't the most considerate thing to do but to snap the way she had was out of character as well as uncalled for considering the fact that Mellie only seemed to be concerned. She was probably across the hall unable to sleep due to excitement about tomorrow's rally and her standing in the election. Before they had even gotten the day started Marcus reported a slight drop in the polls that left Mellie buzzing with nervous energy the entire day. She followed behind Olivia popping in on staff members to see if their work was up to standard. Olivia was well aware of her antics and three weeks prior she would have easily been able to brush them off, but the micromanaging combined with a new inexplicable tension between them nearly made her snap. If Marcus hadn't stepped between them just as she rounded on Mellie she more than likely would have lost her cool in front of her staff. When it came to Mellie Marcus wasalway ready to intervene. It probably shouldn't needle her the way it does seeing that she practically assigned him to her but his presence was swiftly becoming another point of tension between them._

 _When their worlds revolved around the same man, Fitz, the source of tension was unmistakable and it was sort of tempered by familiarity and shared goals. They mostly handled it with avoidance. Things could get heated when they were forced to be in each other's presence but at the end of the day they knew what place they held and who they were to one another. The source of the tension that is growing between them now is as obscure as the former was obvious. Even though they are represented on paper as advisor/client, the relationship between them now seems to be less defined than when they were in the White House. There are still a few times when the hurt of the past descends on them like a rain shower on an otherwise sunny day and there are times when everything feels fresh and new, but mostly they exist somewhere in the middle. The biggest difference being how they deal with the tension. Instead of avoiding each other they are drawn together as if constantly butting heads was the only way to figure it out. The disagreements would start with minor issues like whether or not they should arrive at their destination five minutes before the scheduled time (Olivia thought they should), or what color Mellie should wear ( she wants to wear black). Normally, Olivia would let her have her way on small things like this, it usually helped to calm her nerves, but now there was defiance in Mellie's eyes when she made her unchallenged declarations. Instead of simply letting her have her way, Olivia pushed back and the look of surprise and irritation on her client's face was enough to make it a habit. When they were late due to a last minute wardrobe change after spilled water left visible marks on Mellie's red suit, Olivia couldn't help but point out that it wouldn't have been an issue if they left a little earlier. And Mellie had no problem telling her that if she'd been wearing black, like she had wanted, there wouldn't be a need to change._

 _They needled each other from the time they said good morning until they parted ways, only stopping long enough for Mellie to bring Olivia the food she had ordered for her or for Olivia to remind Mellie that she was planning to return Karen's call the minute they had a break. During that time it was like nothing had transpired between them until work resumed._

 _Mellie's nervous energy, the tension between them, and this afternoons disagreement left Olivia frustrated and exhausted but unable to sleep. Then, when she finally manages to doze off Mellie calls. Argh! As unprofessional as it would have been to fight in front of their staff, Olivia almost wishes that Marcus hadn't intervened. It's been a long time since either of them has raised their voice at the other. Maybe that's what they needed, to blow off some steam. Maybe then they both could have slept peacefully._

 _Olivia sighs. She knows that she has to apologize tonight if there is to be anything resembling peace between them. The shock from Olivia's attitude has most likely worn off and Mellie is probably stewing in anger or plotting her revenge. Either way, Olivia knows her well enough to know that she isn't asleep. Without hesitating further Olivia picks up her phone and dials the last number. It rings and rings before going to voicemail. She's tempted to leave it at that but she knew Mellie would be stubborn. Instead, she decides to pay her a visit._

 _It takes a while for Mellie to open the door, long enough for a tiny bit of panic to rise and Olivia to decide to use the spare key. When Mellie finally opens it she catches Olivia holding the key mid air. She stares at the key, at Olivia, then turns around and walks into the room without a word._

 _Olivia takes her silence and the open door as an invitation. She follows Mellie inside and shuts the door behind her. Mellie is perched on the foot of the rooms bed and it's only after she realizes that she's trying ignore the bare strip of Mellie's left thigh that she realizes that all she's wearing is a robe. The tension and irritability returns immediately._

 _"Why didn't you answers my call?" She blurts, forgetting that she's here to fix things. That's all it takes for Mellie's mask of nonchalance to falter. Her head snaps up and the fire returns to her voice._

 _"You can't be serious! You know where I am and what I'm doing twenty four/ seven. You choose what I wear, what I eat and interrupt my showers but God forbid I care enough to make sure you don't starve! And now after making it very clear that you didn't appreciate my call, you think you can yell at me for missing yours?" She practically growls and the look in her eyes is deadly._

 _Instead of a chill down her spine, Mellie's words send a warm flush from her head to her toes. Its a combination of embarrassment from being called out on her behavior and something unnamed that surrounds her when she notices the obvious damp of Mellie's hair and the water marks on her pink, silk robe. She would have realized Mellie had been in the shower if she hadn't been so distracted by her thi-_

 _Before she can continue that train of thought she remembers why she's even standing here in Mellie's room. She came here to apologize and already she's made things worse. Without over thinking it, Olivia walks over to Mellie and sits next to her on the bed. She doesn't miss the way Mellie crosses her arms as if to ward off any thing Olivia might say. She doesn't like that Mellie feels the need to protect herself from her and that thought helps her to find her voice_.

 _"Look, Mellie I'm sorry for being so short with you. I know that it's not an excuse for the way I've spoken to you tonight but things are becoming more tense the closer we get to the election. Once we're back home in our own territory things will settle down for a bit. I really didn't mean to snap the way I did. I let work get the best of me and I'm sorry. Will you accept my apology?" Olivia almost pleads while resting a hand on Mellie's shoulder._

 _Mellie places her hand atop Olivia's and squeezes just a bit before jumping up to pace. That's another thing that Olivia has taken notice of. Mellie accepts physical contact from her and even initiates it herself but sometimes it like she can get away fast enough. Physical affection doesn't come naturally to either of them but it has become a bit of a habit between the two. They use touch to communicate the true meaning of their sometimes seemingly hard words. Lately, Mellie's tolerance has decreased but Olivia tries not to take it personal. She snaps out of her musings when Mellie speaks._

 _"I'll accept your apology if you'll accept mine. I know that I haven't been easy to work with. I'm sorry for being unnecessarily difficult, going behind your back and making it seem as if I don't trust you because I do. I've never trus...I trust you!" She finally stops pacing to make eye contact with Olivia. "And please forgive me for not considering the time when I called."_

 _"I- I forgive you." Once again Olivia is surprised by Mellie's growth. Not only is she trying to make better decisions, but now she apologizes for her mistakes. And she trusts her. There is a fluttering in her stomach that she ignores. Marcus tried to tell her this before but she dismissed him for being foolish enough to think he had Mellie all figure out. Knowing that he was right burns a little but she feels better knowing that he couldn't possibly know how right he is. Mellie had stopped herself from confessing but the vulnerability in her eyes gave her away. Mellie has never trusted anyone as much as she trust Olivia! The idea is both reassuring and overwhelming. She's always felt a sense of responsibility for Mellie. At first it was because of the role she played in the desolation of her marriage then it was because it was up to her to get Mellie elected. Now, words that hadn't even been spoken have added a new layer of responsibility, one that could possibly compromise her sense of self preservation. She wonders if she and her father have been worried about the wrong Grant. That last thought causes her to break eye contact. Mellie clears her throat and the silence grows uncomfortable so she takes this moment to rise._

 _"Well, we have to be awake in less than two hours so, Goodnight," she says abruptly._

 _"Goodnight Olivia", Mellie said as she watches Olivia start towards the door. She's basically in the hall before Mellie stops her. "Liv, wait! Take these just in case." Olivia can't do anything but smile when she turns and sees the orange and the banana that Mellie is holding out to her. Why should she have expected anything else? "Just trying to be nice."_

 _"You? Nice?" Olivia smirks._

 _"I can be nice." Mellie protests unconvincingly._

 _"Sure, but I think Jake would disagree."_

 _"Why should he? Whenever he's around I am perfectly polite." Even now her smile morphs into the one she wears for people she's only pretending to like._

 _"Exactly!" Olivia can only shake her head in amusement. Jakes presence at O.P.A can be a bit of a distraction. Mellie zeros in on him like a hawk and even though she's pretty good at faking it you'll never have her full attention until he leaves. On top of that she makes little digs and feigns innocence when the rest of the gang are amused. She'll say things like, ' It's incredible how you find the time to direct the NSA and still work part time as an associate'. She made it a point to ask about his wife, wanting to know how she's doing as if they are old friends who haven't had time to catch up and 'Of course it must be hard for her having to spend so much time away from her husband'. "Exactly! You're version of perfectly polite is anything but nice."_

 _"Is it a problem? Do you want me to be nicer to your friend?" Her tone is still playful but the question is sincere. She moves closer and tilts her head the way she does when she's really listening._

 _It's a simple question and yes, it really would make things run more smoothly if they would get along but she knows that the question goes deeper than the surface. Her gut tells her that the answer to this question will go a long way toward determining the future dynamic of their relationship. Now that the distance between them has dramatically decreased Olivia has to incline her head to maintain eye contact. It's like her hand has a mind of its own when it reaches out and rest on the exposed portion of Mellie's freckled chest. "No. I don't want you to think I'm telling what to do."_

 _Olivia pulls back her hand and reaches for the offered fruit. "Thanks, Mel!" She says casually as if her hand is not still burning with the heat of Mellie's bare skin. A flush runs from Mellie's chest to her face. She offers a shy smile and Olivia's stomach flutters once again. She hurries out the door without looking back already knowing that she won't be getting anymore sleep tonight_.

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In the time that followed it was almost as if nothing had happened between them. Neither of them even hinted at what transpired in the hotel room unsure if it had actually gone the way they remembered. The constant butting of heads stopped. Mellie's anxiety has receded or she's gotten better control over it and as a result Olivia's patience is restored. Everything is about the same except there are times when Olivia is sure that Mellie purposely stands just out of her reach. Not only does it annoy her and cause her to wonder if she's done something wrong. It makes her realize just how often she touches Mellie, how often she reaches for her. Then there are the times when Olivia feels like no room is big enough for the both of them. It feels as if Mellie is right beside her when she's really all the way across the room. But, instead of letting it distract her, causing her to lash out, she disappears to take a break. When she returns Mellie seems to be the only one who noticed her absence and there is always a look of confusion, concern, and a little suspicion on her face but like Olivia she never asks. It's nice it is to have someone in her corner who gets it, someone who knows when to just let her be.

She contemplates this as she gazes into imploring eyes. She doesn't want to reverse the progress they've made and that is why she gives in to Mellie's request for her to stay.

"I guess I can stay for a while."

Mellie's whole face lights up delighted that she won't have to beg. She was considering it. She scoots over on the sofa allowing Olivia to have the corner seat. Olivia sits and waits as Mellie loads a plate for her. It's more than she thinks she needs at this time of night but she knows that to satisfy Mellie she'll have to eat all of it. Once Mellie's own plate is prepared she dives right in, filling Olivia in on what's happening with the children. She's talking in between bites of food not concerned with Olivia knowing just how hungry she is. Olivia watches her calculating all the years that they've been acquainted and understanding that it's only since the campaign that's she's really begun to know her.

After Mellie is done regaling her with tales of Karen's excitement for graduation and her first year of college and how it almost makes her wish she could stop Teddy from entering the first grade, she continues eating in silence. Olivia knows that she's waiting to here about how she's been getting alone but she also knows that she won't push. Olivia isn't the only one who's been paying attention because knowing that an otherwise stubborn Mellie would sit here in silence is enough to make her want to share and something tells her that she knows it.

"Abby seems to be keeping things at O. P. A. running smoothly. And I'm glad to know it..."

"But..." Mellie supplies.

" but... sometimes I think I want something to go wrong and they'll need me to fix it. I know they sometimes call asking for advice but it's not the same as needing me there with them." She confesses.

"Do you want to be there?" Mellie asks, preparing herself for the answer. She fidgets with the napkin in her lap. "I mean is that where you'd rather be? I can't say I won't be disappointed. You won't be easy to replace but I'll respe-"

"No!" Olivia raises her voice a little. Hearing Mellie speak of replacing her caused an unexpected tightening in her chest. "It was hard work getting us here. This is what I want. It's where I want to be and I've never been more proud of making a president. I only fear the damage to my ego, the thing that no one talks about when the student surpasses the teacher. I know that it's a little childish but it's how I feel."

"Well, how do you think Cyrus feels?"

Olivia turns to meet her eye and is unsurprised to see laughter there.

"But seriously, you are Olivia Pope. No one is better than you. You are irreplaceable. Even when your team is successful it's because of what you taught them. No one can do what you do." Mellie holds her gaze letting her know how much she means every word and it's almost too much for Olivia. Her stomach clenches and she becomes restless but once again Mellie, this time unknowingly, has mercy on her.

"I mean look. You got ME here!" Mellie beams like she just told the greatest joke ever.

Olivia smiles back disarmed by Mellie's rare playfulness. "Piece of cake," she says as she squeezes Mellie's hand. She barely registers the flush of her cheeks and way she fidgets with her fingers before Mellie is up on her feet. "Thank you for everything, Olivia! I know I said it before but...and thanks for keeping me company this evening."

Olivia is knocked a little off balance when Mellie takes her plate from her. It was a little rude and unlike how Mellie normally treated guests, even the ones she could barely tolerate. "I'm sure you're looking forward to a small break, as am I. I'll see you back here early Monday morning, right?"

"Right..." Olivia answers. Too flustered to protest she follows Mellie to the door.

"Good. See you then. Goodnight, Liv!" She says holding Olivia's shoulders in a brief yet awkward embrace.

Olivia is so confused that she doesn't even register the door closing behind her and it takes her a moment to get her legs to move. She walks the halls of the White House trying to understand what has just transpired. Why was Mellie so anxious to get rid of her after practically pleading with her to stay? Were they falling back into old habits. Though it didn't seem like Mellie was upset with her. Maybe she just needs a little time alone. Olivia can't blame her. She never really considered the fact that Mellie, like herself, might sometimes feel like a room isn't big enough to hold all that they were and have become to one another. Maybe all those times she thought Mellie was avoiding her she actually had been afraid that she might lash out or...?

Or.

Olivia comes to a complete stop in the middle of the hall. She's finally allowing her mind to examine its contents and every question she's been avoiding. Why is it that long, uninterrupted periods around Mellie make her feel the need to call a time out? Why is she always filled with nervous energy when near her? Why does Mellie's touch make her want to both lean in and pull away? Why can't she forget the hotel and that exposed thigh and the way her hand burned from touching her flesh? Why does Mellie's praise of her mean more to her than it has from anyone else? Why does Marcus' obvious crush and interference between them bug her so much? And what about Mellie? She had changed. When did she begin to care about Olivia's well being? Why does she make it her job to make sure she eats? Why does she become irritable when Olivia has to divide her attention and is pulled away from her and even more so if the person on the receiving end is Jake? Why was she always so happy to see her even after having come very close to a shouting match not even ten minutes prior? Why does Olivia's touch make her fidget? Why is she really avoiding her?

After Mellie practically shoving her away Olivia finally realizes how blind she's been. Finally she understands what's been happening. And of course Mellie would push her away. She's afraid. Given their history, both individual and shared, she can't blame her. Olivia is afraid too. Although everything seems so obvious she knows that she could be wrong, but allows hope to take root in the possibility of being right. Now she's become the idiotic, optimistic fool. Smiling to herself she continues her stride already knowing her what she needs to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2

Mellie is still standing at the door of the Oval nearly ten minutes later. She thought Olivia might have tried to come back in but she hasn't. Once she hears her footsteps move away from the door she feels relief but not enough to completely relax. Olivia probably thinks she's crazy now but that wouldn't be new nor would it be completely inaccurate. Mellie is crazy! How else can she explain the thoughts and the...feelings she has towards her ex-husband's ex-mistress? She's insane and she can live with Olivia knowing that as long as she doesn't know just HOW insane she is. She can't imagine that she would stick around after discovering such a thing. They've been through quite a bit and made it out on the other side but that would be one step too far. She can't believe that Olivia would even hesitate to bring her back to reality. But what confuses her most is the realization that she's not sure what reality is.

Sometimes she would catch Olivia's eyes and they'd seem to connect on a deeper, more intimate level but then they'd return to business as usual and she can't help but dismiss the feeling as wishful thinking. And no one has ever had Mellie's back the way Olivia does but that could just be a sign of an actual friendship developing. Maybe having no idea what a friendship is really like is what has gotten her wires crossed. That explanation doesn't hold much weight, and it certainly doesn't hold up to the sight of Olivia in the flesh. She doesn't think you're supposed to lust after friend. She's tries to avoid her but just like a moth drawn to the heat of the flame, so is she addicted to the tortuous heat that rises whenever she's near. So instead of burning up on the spot she tries to limit physical contact to no more than a few seconds at a time. When Olivia unknowingly exceeds that limit she does whatever she can to keep her distance. She stands just close enough that Olivia won't think she's avoiding her but far enough away so that if she really wants to touch her she'd have to take chase her. Her touch is particularly unbearable after Mellie notices that she's been avoiding her. When that happens she believes that Olivia can't stand to be around her and that she never will forgive Mellie for her past mistakes. If their friendship is in question how could she believe that Olivia would ever want more from her?

It's never too long, though, before hope has a chance to take root once again. All it takes is for Olivia to smirk at her from across the room or be unable to hide her pleasure when Mellie is flawless in a debate, be it real or practice. Sometimes it's as simple as using the shortened version of her already shortened name. When that happens her mind blanks for a second and all her doubts are temporarily washed away. And the hotel. She will never forget the thing that really gives her hope is the way that Olivia behaves whenever Marcus is around. She always seems to be interested in their conversations and isn't above actually physical inserting herself between the two of them. Once Mellie made the mistake of laughing too loudly at one of his jokes and it led to the biggest fight they've had since that night on the trail.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

 _The elevator door opens and Huck walks out with his hands loaded with bags of food from Gettysburger. Mellie sees him and is rising to her feet to offer him assistance when Marcus places a hand on her shoulder._

 _"You don't have to get up, I got it."_

 _"Thank you, Marcus!" Mellie smiles at him. He smiles back and continues on to the elevator. A low murmur catches Mellie's attention and she turns to the right to see Olivia standing in the door of her office. "Excuse me?"_

 _In response Olivia lifts her hand and uses it to prop herself against the doorframe. Mellie takes in the smirk on her face and is already preparing to roll her eyes at whatever comes from her mouth. Her defenses against Olivia have somewhat diminished and it irritates her that she can so easily get under her skin. Though she doesn't allow her irritation to stop her eyes from following Olivia's arm down the curve of her waist and on to where her shirt is snugly tucked in the front of her slacks. The material clings to her reminding Mellie that Olivia is much smaller than her presence allows you to realize. Affection for the woman before her spreads a warmth throughout her chest only to diminish a second later when Olivia opens her mouth._

 _"I said that you are spoiled." Olivia repeats, still wearing that arrogant smirk. She doesn't bite her tongue for Mellie anymore. After all they've been through it seems a bit silly. Never mind the fact that Mellie never really bothered to hold back anything._

 _"I am not! He just likes to be helpful." Mellie does her best to sound indignant but she knew that as soon as she began to stand he would stop her._

 _Olivia folds her arms across her chests and the atmosphere shifts. The unidentified tension is back. Instead of back tracking Olivia dives in head first. "I'm sure he does."_

 _"Oh, come on, Liv!" She finally releases the eye roll she's been holding back. "Please don't start with this! I know what my priorities are and you've made it very clear how much I can't afford any mistakes or distractions. I get it. My knees are together! Okay?"_

 _Olivia involuntarily glances at the hem of her skirt before giving in. "Okay."_

 _Seconds later the rest of the gang joins them. Huck is smart enough to ignore the awkward tension but Marcus couldn't just ignore a problem. In that way he and Olivia were very similar. He looks from Mellie to Olivia and back to Mellie before asking, "Is everything alright_?"

 _Olivia lets out a chuckle that's anything but amused. "We're fine." She grabs the bag that Huck is holding out to her, turns and walks back inside her office. The fact that she is not eating with the rest of them, which is usually how it goes when Mellie is in the office, is enough to make it obvious that she's in a mood. Once he is sure that Olivia is out of earshot Marcus tries to get Mellie to talk but she waves him off. She's to frustrated to speak and is wondering if Olivia ruffles her like this on purpose or if she really believes that Marcus is that much of a threat to their campaign. She imagines herself bursting into her office and setting her straight, asking her how she could be so blind as to not see whom it is that Mellie really wants. The certainty of what would happen after the initial shock wore off keeps her silent and seated._

 _Ten minutes later Quinn has managed to make it back to the office and she's telling them of her latest adventure between bites of food. She's talking so much and so fast Mellie is sure that she can't be getting enough oxygen to her brain. "Quinn, if you don't slow down I'm afraid you'll pass out."_

 _"That's what she said." Marcus grins._

 _She turns to him in confusion but once he explains the joke to her she bursts into uncontrollable laughter. It's really not that funny and very immature but it helps to dispel thoughts of Olivia and the lingering tension. Her relief doesn't last long. She hears the click of Olivia's heels signaling her return."What's so funny?"_

 _When Mellie turns around to see her she is standing just outside her office door, hands in her pockets, presenting the perfect picture of nonchalance. While Quinn happily fills her in Mellie watches her noticing that she's not really paying attention. Her gaze flickers back and forth between Quinn and somewhere behind Mellie. When she looks to see what it is distracting she can't say she's surprised to see Marcus' hand resting on the back of her chair. Seeing Olivia's rigged posture makes her feel like she's been caught doing something wrong which is absolutely ridiculous. She does her best to act unaffected._

 _When Quinn has finished speaking, Olivia acknowledges the joke with a polite smile before turning to her. "Senator, would you mind finishing your lunch in my office? I have some things I want to go over with you."_

 _The use of her formal title while at OPA is a sure sign that all is not well. Mellie is tempted to refuse but she knows that it would only make things awkward for everyone. "Sure, . Just allow me to gather my things."_

 _Huck, Marcus and Quinn pretend to not notice the tension in the room while continuing the their conversation. Mellie reluctantly follows Olivia into her office. Instead of sitting at her desk they sit on the sofa where, in addition to her meal, sits two glasses of red wine. Mellie relaxes a bit. She sure that Olivia is trying to make up for her earlier behavior. She won't apologize (that's not something that comes easy for either of them) but sharing a glass of wine is their way of blowing of steam and moving forward. The silence that has fallen between them only last a moment before Olivia speaks._

 _"How are you feeling about the upcoming debate? Are you nervous?" Olivia asks leaning into the sofas cushions._

 _"I'm always a bit nervous, you know how much I want this but it isn't anything I can't handle. We have this afternoon and the next two before I have to get on stage and I'm sure you'll use that time to put me through the ringer." Mellie groans._

 _"Do you think I'm too hard on you?Would you rather Marcus do it? I'd let him if he wasn't such a good stand in for Vargas." Olivia's tone is innocent but Mellie knows her well enough to know that this is the real reason she called her in here. Instead of getting upset she decides to try ignoring her._

 _"No, you're not too hard on me, Liv. I can take it." She replies, trying to lighten to mood._

 _"He flirts with you constantly." Olivia is not letting it go and Mellie's temper rises._

 _"You exaggerate. And so what if he does? Nothing is going to happen between us. I have no romantic interest in Marcus!" Mellie stands up ready to walk out the door but Olivia grabs her wrist preventing her from leaving._

 _"You don't?" She sounds surprised._

 _"No. I don't."_

 _"But you do flirt back."_

 _That trips Mellie up a little because it's true. Sometimes she does flirt but it isn't anything serious. It's playful. Honestly, she's been enjoying the attention and it helps to keep her mind from wandering down a much more dangerous path. Though, she won't admit any of that to Olivia._

 _"No, I do not! Look Olivia, I understand your concern. I really do but I'm standing here telling you that nothing is going to happen between Marcus and I. Why don't you trust me?" Mellie is hurt and her anger causes her voice to rise with each word. She closes her eyes trying to calm herself. There is a familiar fire traveling through her veins and once it's gone so far things will end badly._

 _Her voice must have drawn the attention of the others because when she opens her eyes Olivia is at the office door telling them to leave. "Find something to do somewhere that's not here. I'll call if I need you. If I don't call you I don't want to see you until tomorrow." Mellie can only hear low murmuring on the other side of the door. She doesn't know who it is until Olivia replies. "I will see you tomorrow, Marcus."_

 _Of course Marcus would be the only one to try and ask questions. Mellie finds herself angry with him for adding fuel to the fire. She knows it isn't fair. It's not his fault that his boss doesn't know when to leave well enough alone. 'Why can't she let this go?!' Mellie clenches and unclenches her fist. When Olivia returns to her Mellie can see that her mood has also gone downhill. She's wearing that condescending smile that she usually saves for a client that is being especially stubborn and uncooperative._

 _"It's not that I don't trust you. It's just that you're human, capable of making mistakes; of doing things that you had no intention of doing."_

 _"So, what would you have me to do, Olivia? Should I ignore him when he speaks to me? Should I refuse to be in a room with him without a chaperone or two? Maybe you and I should be connected at the hip, that way you can keep tabs on me at all times!"_

 _"Careful you've already accused me of that last bit." Olivia replies, her tone full of amusement._

 _It was a light jab. And if this had been one of their petty disagreements Mellie would have taken it in stride but today has been a trying day. She's hurt, frustrated, angry and she's not a joke. She doesn't like to be laughed at when she's being serious. It's dismissive and degrading. It makes her feel like she's invisible, like Olivia isn't hearing her. Maybe she's been kidding herself about their relationship. Maybe they haven't grown. Maybe any camaraderie they share is just Olivia doing her job. The thought turns her veins to ice and she reacts the only way she knows how; with anger. "No, Seriously. Should I wear a chastity belt and give you the key?That way you can make sure that I don't fuck up while you are free to come and go as you please. Tell me, Olivia, what do I have to do to make you realize that I am not you?!"_

 _The room is completely silent. It's like all the air has been sucked out of the room. Neither of them move an inch. Mellie can actually when the barb hits home and although she expects to see hurt she's surprised to see the fire burning in Olivia's eyes. Olivia laughs mirthlessly. The sound painful to the ears and Mellie instantly regrets her words. She wants to take them back but pride and her own anger keeps her silent. She'll just have to deal with whatever comes next. When Olivia's mouth opens she braces herself._

 _"You're right, you're not me but you and I both know that you don't have to be to fuck things up. Your good at that all on your own." Mellie wants to reach out and grab her, say she's sorry but right now, she's sure that it will only make things worse. "When I warned you about former Vice President Nichols what did you say to me? Huh? Oh, I remember. I believe it was along the lines of 'You think we're the same? You and I are not the same!' Now, after everything that's happened, after your own bad decision, I want you to tell me about how different we are!"_

 _Olivia's words hit her like a brick to the face and she is so fluster she can barely get her thoughts together. "You're bringing Andrew into this? I... Andrew, really?"_

 _"See, this is what you do. This is why I don't do this, why I've always refused to come down to your level."_

 _"My level?" Mellie interjects but Olivia is far from done._

 _"You know exactly how to dish it but you can't take it. I tried to put myself in your shoes. I imagined myself desperately trying to hold onto everything I told myself I wanted, everything I spent half my life creating and watching it fall to pieces around me. I knew that it couldn't be easy and I was a part of that destruction. So, I took any abuse you gave me telling myself that I deserved it but those days are over. I won't take it anymore. Things have changed, Mellie and I refuse to be your punching bag any longer. So, yes, I'm bringing Andrew into it. The same Andrew with whom you had an affair. The same Andrew who faked a terrorist attack. The same Andrew who staged a coup, kidnapped me...and held me hostage as collateral." When Olivia's voice cracks with emotion Mellie fills with guilt. As far as she knows Olivia has never really talked about what happened and now she has forced her hand. Tears gather in her eyes reminding her that she can no longer feign indifference where this woman is concerned. "The same Andrew...that I still have nightmares about. The same Andrew that died by-that died...by my hand."_

 _Olivia is sobbing now and all her fire has burned out. Her tears come rapidly after having been kept at bay for so long. This time, Mellie doesn't hesitate to wrap her arms around her and hold tight, doing her best to keep her from falling apart. Her sobs are so violent Mellie that can feel them in her chest and she's no longer able to hold back tears of her own. She's never seen Olivia cry and it's a little absolutely heart wrenching. All she can do is murmur soft words into her hair and hold on to her as if their very lives depend on it._

 _"I'm so sorry, Liv! I'm so sorry. I'm sorry he hurt you. I'm sorry that I've hurt you too many times to count. I'm sorry that I put so much of the blame on you when it was never yours to carry. I'm so sorry!"_

 _Mellie hates Andrew Nichols for what he did to Olivia but how she feels about him pales in comparison to how she feels about herself in this moment. Lashing out on someone she feels so much for makes her feel like all the terrible things that have ever been said about her are true. She is selfish, self-centered, arrogant, cruel, incapable of love and unlovable. But, instead of wallowing in self pity she focuses her attention on the woman in her arms._

 _Olivia's sobs have quieted but she hasn't pulled away and Mellie refuses to do so. They stand there clinging to each other in silence. Finally, she pulls back enough for Mellie to see her face. Her deep brown eyes are still glassy with unshed tears and when she blinks Mellie is quick to wipe away the ones that fall. They hold eye contact and it's like they are seeing each other fully, for the first time. Their tears have washed away the last of their defenses revealing the women beneath the masks. Olivia looks away first unable to handle emotions swirling between them. Mellie is grateful for the reprieve. She wouldn't have lasted much longer without doing something she would most likely regret. Somewhere she finds the strength to pull away and lead Olivia back to the sofa by her hand._

 _They don't leave the office until nightfall; after apologies are accepted, promises to do better have been share, and a vow of friendship has been made_.

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

And they've managed to remain friends since then, never again letting a disagreement spiral so out of control. Mellie takes it upon herself to have a talk with Marcus and as a result Olivia has relaxed considerably where he's concerned.

Though, it's true that Mellie trusts Olivia more that anyone she terrified of what will happen if her secret is exposed. Her biggest fear is that Olivia will realize the extent of her feelings and run away. That is something that she doesn't think she can handle. If she ran away from Fitz whom they all considered to be the best of them how could she be foolish enough to believe that she would be good enough? If Chief of Staff and friend are the only titles that Olivia can give her then she'll take them. She'll just have to bury this like so many other parts of herself she's had to bury and is only just beginning to recover. She is well versed in pretending.

Finally feeling safe enough to leave the security of her office Mellie gathers her things and starts toward the residence. She tries to clear her mind so that she'll be able to sleep once she hits the sheets but of course her thoughts are full of Olivia. She knows that enough time hasn't passed for her to have made it home but she still has to fight the urge to call. Mellie likes to know when she makes it home and Olivia usually calls when she does but after her weird behavior tonight Mellie doesn't know if the other woman will want to speak to her. She thinks it over for a second before dialing her number.

The phone rings twice before going to voicemail. That's a first. Olivia's has missed a few of her calls but she's never deliberately sent her to voicemail. At least she hasn't since they've been friends. She feels her temper rise and tries to calm herself. It could have been accidental. She redials her number and listens. Again, she is sent to voicemail but instead ending the call she leaves a message. "Really, Olivia! You send me to voicemail? What if there is an emergency? What if I nee- you're needed? I'm calling because I want to make sure you get home safe and you send me to voicemail?" After a breath or two Mellie realizes that she's overreacting and her anger leaves her. She is outside of the presidential suite when she finishes the message.

"I'm sorry. Ignore everything I've said. Call me when you get this, please or you know I'll worry." Mellie ends the call as she walks inside her bedroom. When she turns around after having closed the door shes shocked to come face to face with the recipient of her scathing message. Olivia is sitting on her bed with her legs crossed and a smile on her face.

"Liv, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be on your way home?" Mellie asks barely recovering from the surprise. Why didn't secret service inform her of her presence?

"I thought you would prefer it if I stayed the night." Olivia answers as if this is something that happens on a regular bases, or even at all. She stands but keeps her distance. She doesn't want Mellie to run.

"W-What? W-Why?" Mellie's nerves are back in full force. She rings her hands as she paces the floor; too busy watching her feet to see the look of amusement and adoration on Olivia's face.

"Three reasons: I'm tired, it's late, and I don't want you to worry!"

Mellie does look up at that and she's is caught by her eyes. They draw her in until she is standing less than an arm's length away.

"You'll know I'm safe if I'm sleeping right next to you," Olivia says softly.

When her words register Mellie is ready to pick up where she left off, pacing the floor, but Olivia is faster. She reaches out and grabs her wrist before she can move an inch. Mellie doesn't even try to pull away. Instead, she searches her face trying to understand what is happening. The floor feels unsteady beneath her feet but Olivia's touch anchors her. Their eyes lock again and she is powerless to break the hold.

"You want to sleep here?"

"Yes."

"In- In my bed?" She trembles as the words leave her mouth. Olivia uses her thumb to rub soothing circles on the inside of her wrist.

"Yes. That is if you'll have me." The last thing Olivia wants to do is force herself on her by being where she was not wanted. Mellie stares at her. She searches her face as if she is trying to solve a puzzle. She seems to find what she's looking for and takes a quick step back causing Olivia to lose her hold on her.

"Tell me."

"What?"

"Tell me why you're here, in my room, wanting to sleep in my bed, with me." Mellie has one arm wrapped around her middle while her other hand fiddles with the thin gold chain around her neck. "If you're here I can only assume that you have some idea of how I... feel. And I don't think I'm alone because I know you well enough to know that you wouldn't toy with me this-"

"Never!" Olivia looks scandalized at the very idea.

" but I need to hear you say it. I can't allow myself to believe that this is real if I don't hear the words, Liv."

This time Olivia closes the distance and wraps her arms around Mellie's waist never breaking eye contact. It feels so good to hold her this way. All the feelings that she has been keeping at bay rise to the surface and she knows that Mellie is it for her. She's only ever said the words to a couple of others and she's never been the one to say them first, always running from it until she couldn't deny it anymore. Now, here she is, ready to relinquish a good portion of control to a woman she trusts not to take advantage.

"I love yo-"

"I love you so much!" Mellie jumps in before the words have completely left Olivia's mouth. Her eyes are wide, surprised by how much she means it and how good it feels to finally say. With Fitz, even those times when the words were truer than she had ever really intended them to be, they were always first calculated and weighed in her mind before she spoke them aloud. With Olivia the words spilled out before she could stop them. Olivia's face morphs into a huge grin. She is completely smitten by Mellie and charmed by her complete lack of self control. She can't help but try to pull her even closer.

"I love you, Melody!" The words come out as gentle as the kiss she plants on her lips. Mellie returns the kiss with fervor. Her hands caress Olivia's face as she kissses her again and again, each kiss punctuated by another declaration of love. With each kiss all doubt and fear falls away. There are still major hurdles to overcome and so many things to say but those things can be discussed in the morning. For now there is just one thing to say.

Olivia pulls away from their embrace and clasps Mellie's hands in her own. "I'm taking you to bed!"

There are no objections.


End file.
